hi blog.. i am back..
i am now blogging on my bed. waiting for dear chewy to finish her supper.. hahaha.. i was gyming with weixin just a few hours ago.
i have been thinking alot about myself for sometime now.. i have realised that dreams are actually just fantasies.. people dream to be things that they never will get to be.. i always dreamed of becoming a great conductor.. but at the moment, things dont look so good. people tell me that i have a knack for music.. but looking at the amount of mistakes i make on stage? i have been practicing.. i practice hard.. but its always the wrong things that have been turning out..
i think i have been a rather disappointing person in my life.. a disappointing student, a disappointing pianist, a disappointing singer, a disappointing son, a disappointing partner, a disappointing christian. many people would say "chase your dreams". however, chasing your dream might just land u in a situation which is undesirable. in my mothers words "if you work as a choral instructor, you wont have CPF and u cannot buy house and stuff.." gah.. whatever.
ok.. chewy just told me that i use too many "..."(s).. haha.. oppps... hehehe..
ok. i shall try to change that habit... oppps.
back to topic. would chasing your dreams mean that u take the shortest and the most direct route to achieving it? or does it mean that your dream is just an illusion for you to make the most of your life? did the president of singapore ever dream of becoming the president of singapore when he was 18 years old? thats an odd thought. gah. i think i am straying away from the topic. i think i'll just complete my 3 years in poly and my 2 years in the army. after that, i will work hard enough to give chewy a good life. i love her very much.
i am trying to be a comforting friend to those who need it. people who are in need of help, especially after break ups and also in the process of finding the one true love. well, i'm not a love doctor of what. but i see things in a totally different.
i have to say, that i have not been the best of moods lately. i find myself easily irritated. it is not of my nature to be easily irritated. i found myself shouting a whole queue of people at the bus interchange for stopping in the queue to board a bus, after they realised that they wouldnt get a chance to sit down on the bus. i mean, that is totally inconsiderate. i have been a victim to such selfishness. i couldnt take it anymore. i screamed at the top of my lungs. sigh. i must be getting emo. come to think of it, no matter how much of asses those people were i should just live with it.
my christian life: i think i have been straying from the word lately. ho hum. i must be emo. however i know that God is leading me, he is trying to pull me away from the things of the world. it might as dramatic as it seems but each time i am about to stray away, he puts reminders in my path to remind me that i am a child of his. i hear songs of praise in my head. it could be that i am recalling what i sang in church because i sing soooo loudly. i also tend to be attracted by posters on the wall. my particular fav is the one that my dad put in my room. Psalms 127:1 i apologise for the language used in the above entry but i wont change it.
i have been helping weixin with his singing for "i dreamed a dream". i would like to compliment him on choosing such an emotional song. he is a great singer. but he is even better as a feeling person. the emotions that he put into the song were so real. when i told him to sound "desperate", i could really feel the desperation. i strongly believe that in singing, emotions are the ultimate must-have's. hmm. i must thank him then. before i heard him sing, i have never heard anyone with so much emotions and him, being able to relate to the song so well. it could bring me to tears.
poor chewy. she's been down with a cold these past few days. i am gonna cook her a good lunch. i havent been cooking for her in a long time. i am gonna cook mac and cheese for her tmr. gonna bring it over to her house. she has been nothing but pure joy and happiness. making me better as a man, and better as a partner. i love her to bits.

sigh.. its been the longest entry since.........2004? nvm that. doesnt matter now. haha. i guess that all i have to say. goodbye!


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